Relating...

How do you relate to a person you just met? How do you relate to the things you do? How do you relate to your family? How do you relate to traffic? How do you relate to yourself?

In a sense we are all relating to everything around us and inside us at all times. It's possible to be conscious of these relationships or unconscious. They are both valid. They both have their consequences.

A way for me to become conscious of how I relate to something is through my internal diologue. That always running chatter. How I relate to a person I just met might be by wondering how to get them to like me, wondering what I can get from them, wondering what they want from me, thinking about how they compare to me or people I know, judging their appearance, way of acting and talking, wanting to relate, wanting to get away as quickly as possible, trying to be right etc...

As soon as I start to notice my internal dialogue about the world, I start to see the patterns of how I relate to everything. It becomes clear to me that the way I relate to you is the same way I relate to me. I am the source of the relating.

I then start to shift my internal dialogue. I start to notice and make adjustments. When I meet someone I might consciously notice all the things I enjoy about this person. Focusing on the things I find pleasing rather that the things I'm critical of. Not to get them to like me or get anything from them, simply because I choose to. And, when I shift my internal dialogue away from being critical of others, I am less critical of myself. I start to be accepting of myself just the way I am.

Another key to shifting the internal dialogue is to notice how I relate to my internal dialogue itself. Instead of attaching to every thought as true and important, let them pass by. Like watching clouds. Acknowledge that they are there and watch them go by. Realizing that these thoughts are not you. The thoughts are transient. They can change in an instant.

Start to choose thoughts. Plant them like seeds. Tend them until they are established. And sooner or lated they become habit. Just like anything you do repeatedly.

Does shifting the way you relate to things shift your world? Enjoy!

copyright Yvonne Falk®

Where we all start...

I've been considering butterflies. I realized something that is obvious and at the same time, to me, profound.

All butterflies start out as caterpillars. Every single one of them starts out as a slow moving eating machine. They stay in the area their parent left them, which is usually abundant in the plants they feed on. They have exterior defenses which make them toxic or scary to predators, because underneath all that they're softies. They go through four or five growth processes where they shed their skin, the last stage being the chrysalis.

The chrysalis stage is where the transformation happens. The caterpillar goes through a complete metamorphosis. During the chrysalis stage, there is little outward movement. Yet inside all sorts of changes are going on. Until, the chrysalis breaks open and the butterfly spreads it's wings.

The newly emerged butterfly does not immediately take flight. It sits and pumps it's wings, strengthening it's new form. Then, it flaps it's wings and takes off into the air. What was once a land bound leaf eater is now a delicate, airborne creature who lives off nectar.

The part that I find profound is that when a butterfly mates with another butterfly, it makes a caterpillar. In terms of transformation, there is no short cut. The process of caterpillar to butterfly holds so many reflections of our own transformation.

I see a world of butterflies and becoming butterflies...

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Connecting Dots...

Sometimes new information and experiences are like discovering dots and then connecting them.

Since each experience is run through our own personal filter, each bit of information and each experience has many ways to be interpreted. What I make it mean and what you make it mean may be drastically different. We all connect our dots a little differently.

We each paint our reality with these dots. We gather them, connect them and design our world.

Within this context, how much of this designing is conscious? What sort of realities are people creating? What if I rearranged the dots?

It seems that there are infinite combinations. So how come so many of us paint similar realities? Realities such as: not enough, I'm in a hurry, gotta make it, no one loves me, why me, it's not fair, etc...

I propose that as we grow up learning to paint our realities, we copy the "pictures" we see around us. As a way to fit in. We learn to mimic. Then at some point, most of us start to question the norm. We see that there is something more to life than fitting in. We see something broken within the "system". Some use this glimpse to fight and resist the norm. And others, a growing number, start to reconnect the dots to create their reality with love and intention.

So create! Paint reality in pictures of consciousness. Pictures reflecting what you are committed to. When information comes in, or you experience something, become aware of the dots and the pictures you are creating.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Ignite!

What ignites you? What causes you to burn bright? Where do you shine?

Have you noticed, when someone is talking about something they're passionate about that they light up? They seem to become energized?

What if we consciously managed that? We are the ignitors. We are the fuel and the spark.

Imagine yourself as a firework. If you waited around for something outside yourself to light you then you are simply waiting. And there is no responsibility for the explosion when you do get lit.

Light yourself up. You know what inspires and brings you joy more than anyone else. Take responsibility for the dazzling show that your ignition creates. And watch as others get inspired to light themselves as well! Sometimes we hold back for fear of scaring others or standing out. Fear is simply fear. It is not the truth.

Shine bright!

copyright Yvonne Falk '10 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Tunnel vision...

Some say life is a journey. Some say the present moment is all there is. Are they both true?

We seem to have been born with a concept of time. We remember things that happened to us before now and we understand that there is a time beyond right now.

It seems that the more we focus on the future while remembering past failures and hurts, the smaller the light at the end of the tunnel gets. And if that light at the end, in the future, is all that matters then the present is only a means to an end. An end that will fix all that's seems wrong now.

What about now? What about enjoying this part of the journey right here? Would that create a future on it's own? And would it re-color the past?

When the present is all there is and the journey becomes a fun expression of all that's possible within each moment, there is nowhere to get to.

Each moment on this journey is a choice, an expression, a way to do it all, be it all and let it all go...

copyright Yvonne Falk '10 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Labels...

In our language we seem to have labels and names for everything. We grow up learning the label for tree, for sky, for cat, for house. And before we had a name for it, what was it to us? What was the thing we call a stick?

I've watched young children explore their environment. I see them pick things up and look at them in a fascinated way. It may only be a leaf or small rock, but to them it seems to be the most wonderful thing they've ever seen.

When we get older, there seems to be less interest in the common items around them. The world becomes more defined. There are labels for all these things. No one else seems to think they are all that interesting, so why should we? It seems that's when things become boring.

And yet, the magic is still potentially there. Just because we have a name for something, does that mean we really know what it is? There are trees, and then there are the wonderful, dynamic, growing, swaying, multifaceted things we call trees. The function, purpose and energy of this entity is so much more than it's name.

It is very useful to be able to talk about things in our environment. To quickly communicate. And sometimes, we seem to confuse the label for what something truly is, which in my experience, is unknowable.

Next time you look at a tree or a rock or even a stick, imagine seeing it for the first time. No label, no judgment. Just experience it. Notice every little thing about it. The magic starts to come back, the wonder and curiosity.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Pollen From Our Centers...

Flowers simply are. They bloom and fade. They open to allow all in. They simply are.

Flowers propagate through pollination. They attract bees and other creatures to come get covered in pollen. Then that creature moves on to another flower, and another.

If our heart are like flowers, and we open them to allow all in, are we spreading the pollen of love?

If we simply relax into the state of openness, what is possible? The flowers seem to get a lot done without trying. By simply opening...