Relating...

How do you relate to a person you just met? How do you relate to the things you do? How do you relate to your family? How do you relate to traffic? How do you relate to yourself?

In a sense we are all relating to everything around us and inside us at all times. It's possible to be conscious of these relationships or unconscious. They are both valid. They both have their consequences.

A way for me to become conscious of how I relate to something is through my internal diologue. That always running chatter. How I relate to a person I just met might be by wondering how to get them to like me, wondering what I can get from them, wondering what they want from me, thinking about how they compare to me or people I know, judging their appearance, way of acting and talking, wanting to relate, wanting to get away as quickly as possible, trying to be right etc...

As soon as I start to notice my internal dialogue about the world, I start to see the patterns of how I relate to everything. It becomes clear to me that the way I relate to you is the same way I relate to me. I am the source of the relating.

I then start to shift my internal dialogue. I start to notice and make adjustments. When I meet someone I might consciously notice all the things I enjoy about this person. Focusing on the things I find pleasing rather that the things I'm critical of. Not to get them to like me or get anything from them, simply because I choose to. And, when I shift my internal dialogue away from being critical of others, I am less critical of myself. I start to be accepting of myself just the way I am.

Another key to shifting the internal dialogue is to notice how I relate to my internal dialogue itself. Instead of attaching to every thought as true and important, let them pass by. Like watching clouds. Acknowledge that they are there and watch them go by. Realizing that these thoughts are not you. The thoughts are transient. They can change in an instant.

Start to choose thoughts. Plant them like seeds. Tend them until they are established. And sooner or lated they become habit. Just like anything you do repeatedly.

Does shifting the way you relate to things shift your world? Enjoy!

copyright Yvonne Falk®

Where we all start...

I've been considering butterflies. I realized something that is obvious and at the same time, to me, profound.

All butterflies start out as caterpillars. Every single one of them starts out as a slow moving eating machine. They stay in the area their parent left them, which is usually abundant in the plants they feed on. They have exterior defenses which make them toxic or scary to predators, because underneath all that they're softies. They go through four or five growth processes where they shed their skin, the last stage being the chrysalis.

The chrysalis stage is where the transformation happens. The caterpillar goes through a complete metamorphosis. During the chrysalis stage, there is little outward movement. Yet inside all sorts of changes are going on. Until, the chrysalis breaks open and the butterfly spreads it's wings.

The newly emerged butterfly does not immediately take flight. It sits and pumps it's wings, strengthening it's new form. Then, it flaps it's wings and takes off into the air. What was once a land bound leaf eater is now a delicate, airborne creature who lives off nectar.

The part that I find profound is that when a butterfly mates with another butterfly, it makes a caterpillar. In terms of transformation, there is no short cut. The process of caterpillar to butterfly holds so many reflections of our own transformation.

I see a world of butterflies and becoming butterflies...

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Connecting Dots...

Sometimes new information and experiences are like discovering dots and then connecting them.

Since each experience is run through our own personal filter, each bit of information and each experience has many ways to be interpreted. What I make it mean and what you make it mean may be drastically different. We all connect our dots a little differently.

We each paint our reality with these dots. We gather them, connect them and design our world.

Within this context, how much of this designing is conscious? What sort of realities are people creating? What if I rearranged the dots?

It seems that there are infinite combinations. So how come so many of us paint similar realities? Realities such as: not enough, I'm in a hurry, gotta make it, no one loves me, why me, it's not fair, etc...

I propose that as we grow up learning to paint our realities, we copy the "pictures" we see around us. As a way to fit in. We learn to mimic. Then at some point, most of us start to question the norm. We see that there is something more to life than fitting in. We see something broken within the "system". Some use this glimpse to fight and resist the norm. And others, a growing number, start to reconnect the dots to create their reality with love and intention.

So create! Paint reality in pictures of consciousness. Pictures reflecting what you are committed to. When information comes in, or you experience something, become aware of the dots and the pictures you are creating.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Ignite!

What ignites you? What causes you to burn bright? Where do you shine?

Have you noticed, when someone is talking about something they're passionate about that they light up? They seem to become energized?

What if we consciously managed that? We are the ignitors. We are the fuel and the spark.

Imagine yourself as a firework. If you waited around for something outside yourself to light you then you are simply waiting. And there is no responsibility for the explosion when you do get lit.

Light yourself up. You know what inspires and brings you joy more than anyone else. Take responsibility for the dazzling show that your ignition creates. And watch as others get inspired to light themselves as well! Sometimes we hold back for fear of scaring others or standing out. Fear is simply fear. It is not the truth.

Shine bright!

copyright Yvonne Falk '10 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Tunnel vision...

Some say life is a journey. Some say the present moment is all there is. Are they both true?

We seem to have been born with a concept of time. We remember things that happened to us before now and we understand that there is a time beyond right now.

It seems that the more we focus on the future while remembering past failures and hurts, the smaller the light at the end of the tunnel gets. And if that light at the end, in the future, is all that matters then the present is only a means to an end. An end that will fix all that's seems wrong now.

What about now? What about enjoying this part of the journey right here? Would that create a future on it's own? And would it re-color the past?

When the present is all there is and the journey becomes a fun expression of all that's possible within each moment, there is nowhere to get to.

Each moment on this journey is a choice, an expression, a way to do it all, be it all and let it all go...

copyright Yvonne Falk '10 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Labels...

In our language we seem to have labels and names for everything. We grow up learning the label for tree, for sky, for cat, for house. And before we had a name for it, what was it to us? What was the thing we call a stick?

I've watched young children explore their environment. I see them pick things up and look at them in a fascinated way. It may only be a leaf or small rock, but to them it seems to be the most wonderful thing they've ever seen.

When we get older, there seems to be less interest in the common items around them. The world becomes more defined. There are labels for all these things. No one else seems to think they are all that interesting, so why should we? It seems that's when things become boring.

And yet, the magic is still potentially there. Just because we have a name for something, does that mean we really know what it is? There are trees, and then there are the wonderful, dynamic, growing, swaying, multifaceted things we call trees. The function, purpose and energy of this entity is so much more than it's name.

It is very useful to be able to talk about things in our environment. To quickly communicate. And sometimes, we seem to confuse the label for what something truly is, which in my experience, is unknowable.

Next time you look at a tree or a rock or even a stick, imagine seeing it for the first time. No label, no judgment. Just experience it. Notice every little thing about it. The magic starts to come back, the wonder and curiosity.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Pollen From Our Centers...

Flowers simply are. They bloom and fade. They open to allow all in. They simply are.

Flowers propagate through pollination. They attract bees and other creatures to come get covered in pollen. Then that creature moves on to another flower, and another.

If our heart are like flowers, and we open them to allow all in, are we spreading the pollen of love?

If we simply relax into the state of openness, what is possible? The flowers seem to get a lot done without trying. By simply opening...

Unfolding...

What if the process of life is about unfolding? About opening up more and more?

And if your first reaction is "It's not always safe to be open." or something similar, I would ask you to follow that reaction back to it's root.

Reactions are rooted in belief. How I perceive my environment is a result of my beliefs. Beliefs can be so ingrained that they seem like facts or simply the way things are. Especially when we all believe the same thing.

Back to unfolding. Unfolding, as with this fern, is a natural part of growth. As this fern shoot matures it opens wider and wider to take in all the benefits of the environment.

Now what if this fern shoot was scared to open? It would impair the function of the fern. What if all the fern shoots were scared to open? The fern would be stunted and be limited in it's capacity to live.

So how do beliefs and perceptions stunt our growth as people? How does fear of opening impair our full capacity to experience life?

Become aware of the root beliefs and be willing to choose a different belief. Identify habits and actions in line with this belief and practice life from there. Be willing to open up wider and wider to receive the abundance and wisdom in and all around us. Grow...

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Relationship...

Lately I've been especially curious about the relationship between things more that the things themselves.

I'm using "thing" as a loose way to encompass seemingly separate, tangible, namable objects. A way to look at this might be as 'A' and 'B'. Instead of being interested in 'A' and 'B', being more interested in how 'A' and 'B' relate?

The thing itself is somewhat limited. The relationships that are possible between things are almost infinite. And the way those relationships create an effect is amazing.

Like the way that the sun and clouds relate. There are so many different effects to the ways they relate. I am continually awed by the visual displays.

Start to notice how things in the world relate. Ponder possible relationships. Intend the way you would like to relate to your life and the things in your life. And, is anything ever really separate from anything else?

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Focus...

Have you ever noticed what happens when you focus your attention and awareness? When you hone in on something?

For me, everything else blurs and becomes distant. My whole world becomes about what I'm focused on. I feel like I almost become one with what my attention is so intensely directed at.

This type of attention has costs and payoffs. A few costs, for me, are: being so focused on one thing that I miss everything else around it and the energy it takes to focus in that way for long periods is tiring. A few payoffs, in my experience, are: I am fully present and I'm not distracted or confused by what's around the point of my focus.

So it would seem that being intentional with my focusing is of value. To have the insight of when to choose to focus so intently and when to take in a broader view. To use it like a tool. To be mindful of what I see and how I see it. Balance...

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Paths...

Sometimes the path is clearly marked. Other times it takes experiencing what's not the path to recognize the path. By path, I mean a course of action, a way.

It seems in life, there are many paths. And each one starts with a choice. Each choice starts with a perspective. Each perspective, a pattern of belief or judgement. Or, choosing a path starts with a choice based on a commitment. If I am committed to deepening my spiritual awareness, I may make choices in line with such a commitment. If I'm committed to having lots of money, I may make choice based on such a commitment.

In listening to many people's experiences and based on my own experience, commitment is a very powerful path illuminator. It lights up the way. Being committed shows a course of action. One step at a time while holding the overall commitment is a balance of trust and action. Of allowing and being at cause.

Once a path is lit, there may be all sorts of assistance attracted to supporting the steps along the way. Commitment is a way to let the powers that be know where I'm headed. Action is how I show my commitment. Enjoying each step is what keeps me present.

What are your commitments? What are the action step? What if you took an action every day? Every week?

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The act of opening...

It has been my experience that there are many things possible in this world. Many things are possible within me and my outer world is attracted as a reflection of that. When I do the work internally I create a wider range of possibilities. And at the same time it takes me putting myself out there to get the value. If I stay internally focused and fascinated, the process is only partially generated. It takes action to bridge the gap between what's possible and what I manifest.

Like these anemones reaching their tentacles out into the tide, putting myself out there is how I get the manifestations of what's possible. It's how I receive the external benefits of my inner work. When the anemone stays closed it misses the nutrients passing by. When I stay closed I miss the multitude of gifts all around me. All it takes is me opening, reaching out and taking hold of what is there all the time.

There is a beauty and grace to the anemone. And so too is there a grace to the process of opening. Of reaching out and gathering. To openly receiving. Unfurling, swaying in the tide. Tuning in to the natural flow.

copyright Yvonne Falk ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Becoming at home...

Is it possible to become at home in any environment? Even to bring the 'at home' feeling to any space, any time?

By 'at home' I'm referring to the feelings of ease, openness and peace. Comfort and confidence in being wherever, whenever.

This Clown Fish has evolved to become at home in a Sea Anemone. It has developed a way to be immune to the toxins and neurotoxins of the Anemone.

If this little fish can set up home in a toxic environment without fighting or resisting, then what is possible for us? What ways might we evolve? And disengage from resisting or being in fear of environments we aren't familiar or comfortable in? Becoming at home, at ease, at peace in any situation? Relaxing into being ourselves? Sharing who we are? Inviting others to join us in being at peace as if we were inviting them into our home?

If Earth is our home, then we truly are at home wherever we go. If home is where the heart is, then we bring home with us wherever we bring our hearts. It's a mater, at times, of 'being' rather that 'doing' anything.

Be in your heart and be at home.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Happy...

What is happiness? What is the source of your happiness? Is it from internal or external sources? How long does happiness last?

I've noticed some things about the way I relate to happiness. I notice that I feel happy in situations that other people feel unhappy in and that I am unhappy in situations that some people feel happy in. I've had very little money and felt sometimes happy and other times felt unhappy . I've had a lot of money and felt sometimes unhappy and sometimes happy. I've been in beautiful places around the world and again, sometimes I feel happy and sometimes unhappy.

And when I feel happy because I gained something in life, that happiness is short lived. It's not long before my mind finds something wrong. Or finds something to complain about.

So, is happiness a feeling that is dependent on external conditions? Or do I get to choose?

If feeling happy is a choice, then I am responsible. It doesn't matter how much money I have or where I live. I am the source. I may choose to live somewhere that is supportive to my choice of happiness. Or I may take action to acquire more money. Not for the purpose of finding happiness is these things, because that happiness is short lived. Happiness by choice is as moment to moment as the choice to be happy. I am the chooser, I get to choose moment to moment.

Looking at daffodils, I feel happy. The colors the way the petals are arranged. And yet, the happy feelings come from inside me. If I wasn't the source of my happiness, nothing in the world would illicit the feelings of happy. Nothing I looked at would generate a reaction.

If you feel happy, consider it is through your connection to your source. I have heard that we all want to be happy. So what are we waiting for? No one else will do it for us. We choose to be happy. And it is a moment to moment choice. It is OK to choose something other than happy. If happiness becomes a "should" then it becomes elusive, in my experience. The belief 'I should be happy' is the source of much unhappiness.

Simply play with choosing, and see what happens.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Shiny...

A friend of mine and I have an expression. "Share your shiny!" This expression came from a conversation we had about how we all shine underneath the layers of "stuff".

The "stuff" is all our fears, judgments, past perceptions and hurts. The "stuff" creates layers which cover the "shiny".

In my experience, the layers covering the shiny, radiance underneath is a way to protect. To guard our "shiny" and only show it so some people. To the people we think have earned our trust.

When I let go of the layers, the protection and the guarding I realize that it doesn't take other people to be worthy of my "shiny", it takes me feeling worthy enough to share it with everyone. It takes me being willing to possibly stand out. To attract attention. To invite other people to shine. Just like an abalone shell, it's so amazing to find the beautiful colors underneath all the layers of shell. And yet, it takes stripping away the outer layers to see the "shiny" under it all.

Share your shiny! Invite those around you to shine! It's so much fun to be around people who shine! It reminds me to shine! And it's an amazing experience to feel myself shine! To experience the world through that radiance!

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010

Opening...

What is the experience of opening? What does it feel like to open? To be open? How long does it last?

When a rose blooms, it opens. It starts as a tight bud and opens more and more until it's very core is visible. Then the petals fall away. A new flower is ready to open.

Is my heart a flower constantly opening? In my childhood a tight bud then opening more and more until my petals are all unfurled and this flower dies? And then I am born again to bloom and open?

I feel my heart opening when I tune in. It feels like a flower opening up. Continually opening to the love and light of this world.

How do you experience your heart? Do you ever tune in? What does it feel like? If your heart was a flower, what flower would it be?

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Down...

What has you feeling down? What are the thoughts? What are the feelings? Where do you feel it in your body? What is your body language? How do you act? How do you react?

If I stay present while I'm feeling down it shifts my experience. I still have the thoughts, feelings and body sensations. And yet, there's space around it. Instead of everything seeming overwhelming, it is more of something to be curious about.

When I notice what is going on inside, it shifts the whole experience. It becomes an experience instead of all there is.

Next time you feel down, upset, stressed or overwhelmed notice your thoughts, feelings and body sensations. Then notice it all as an experience. Feel the space around it. Be with it. See if the feeling is different. Notice if you act and react differently.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Bark...

To a tree, as I understand, bark is it's armor. It protects the tree from things that might harm the tree. It's almost like a tough skin which protects the smoothness underneath.

I feel sometimes that I too have bark. A tough exterior to protect me. A rough defense to cover my vulnerable soft parts.

What if this protection is unnecessary? What if I'm putting energy toward building up and maintaining this though exterior and there's nothing to actually protect myself against?

I know I have a ton of stories about this and that time I was hurt by so and so, by such and such. I can find evidence all over the place to justify my protections. My world is full of evidence. It simply depends on what I'm looking for evidence to prove.

If the threats are false, if I shift my attention to finding proof that the world is safe, do I need my bark anymore? And if not, will it fall away on it's own as I relate differently to the world?

What about you? What protections have you built up? Are they really needed? Is your world a dangerous place?

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Information...

How much information do we take in every day? And what type of information? How does that information effect us?

Have you ever had the experience of 'information overload'? There was so much information coming in that you just short circuited for a second, an hour, maybe even a day? Some people call this stress.

What if we became more intentional about the information we took in? What if we were selective about our input of information? Input determines output.

If I'm taking in information that points to how things are wrong in the world, I'm going to have a view of the world that everything is wrong. If I watch the news all the time, I would probably feel pretty stressed about life. What if I intentionally listened to beautiful music and watched funny movies? What might change in my world view? What if I started intentionally interacting with people who were making a positive difference in the world? Positive input, positive output.

In my experience, it is so easy to get sucked into the scandals, the strife, the gossip and turmoil of the world. It's shocking and illicit's a strong reaction. "Oh my gosh! This is awful! I need to pay attention to this!" It takes a conscious reminder to shift my attention. To direct my attention back to where it serves me.

Notice throughout the day the information you are taking in. Notice what your input is. Then notice how it feels. If it has a fear based feeling (anxiety, unease, restless, not enough, alarm, anger, jealousy, powerlessness...) and you would rather feel a different way, then intentionally shift your input. Look at introducing positive input. It may be a book, movies, music, spiritual teaching, being out in nature, painting, spending time with people who inspire you, petting an animal. Any number of things are possible. It becomes more about choice. So choose!

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Time machine...

It occurs to me that our minds are like time machines. Our minds are constantly jumping to the past, or putting us in the future. And it's all happening from the present.

When I'm remembering a past conversation, I'm reliving it here in the now. And when I think about a conversation I will have in the future, I'm living it in my mind, here and now.

I've heard it's possible to have people plant memories that never happened. We tend to think the past is unchangeable and the future is open to be created. So if we can change the way we see the past and also implant memories, how unchangeable is it? And that future that is always out there, yet to come, how do our thoughts of the future effect the actual outcome? And how do our minds perceive the outcome?

Our minds have the incredible power to live in all three dimensions (past, present, future) at once. To take an event and perceive it on many different levels and shift that perception at any time. Of course feelings play a big part in our memories, perceptions and thoughts. They are useful anchors in some ways and constrictive ties in others. Feelings feed our mental constructs.

Are our minds time machines? And our feeling the fuel?

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Presence...

I live by the Pacific Ocean. Every day before sunset I've noticed people gathering along the ocean. On the cliffs, in their cars, walking, riding bikes. In groups or alone.

It seems that taking the time to watch the sun setting is important for many people. A ritual almost. Something to plan into their day.

For the time it takes for the sun to set, people seem to be present. Gazing in wonder at the changing colors. Taking in the clouds and water. Sharing this time with those around them.

I've noticed people of a wide variety. Not just one "type" of person. This event that happens every day is bringing people together. The beauty of life touching humanity. A peaceful gathering.

I find great comfort in this coming together. This spontaneous audience to an ever changing display. If this is our future, I am glad. And I declare it is our future. We are gathering more and more to be present. To share in wonder and gratitude. This life is a gift.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Thinking...

I've heard many times that the thoughts we think attract the things we think about. Especially if those thoughts are strong and reoccurring. The more force behind the thought the stronger the attraction.

It seems that, in this context, our thoughts are like seeds on the wind. If we put out many seeds there is more of a chance that they will settle and grow. If the forces of the winds are strong the seeds will travel farther.

Notice the seeds you are sending out. Notice how many take hold and grow. Notice what grows. Do you want more of that? If not, what do you want more of? What thoughts will create more of that? Send out those seeds. Direct the force.

The world is your garden.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Blossoming...

I've come to see the changing of seasons as similar to my processes. As I grow my awareness and transform as a person, it is much like the seasons.

In Spring, there is new life, new growth. The trees are dressed in beautiful fragrant blossoms. The bees are busy. The birds are mating. Life is waking up from the dream of Winter. There is color again. The air promises warmer days. Nourishing rains wash the world alive.

For me, this blossoming happens when I've finished a Winter period of my life. Everything was dark and cold. I was focused inward, dormant outward. Then the Winter faded. I worked through my inward processes. The energy shifted. It was time to blossom. Then share this new growth with the world. Awake, alive, revitalized.

After a time, my blossoms drop and bare fruit. The Summer of my life is here. Time to relax and enjoy the abundance. And after Summer, life slows down again. Autumn is next. Time to harvest and prepare for the Winter. Time to let go of what was and reflect. The inward journey begins again. Only to lead to another Spring and blossoming.

It is never one way all the time. I treasure the Springs and Summers. The Winters and Autumns are necessary. Without them, there would be no Spring and Summer. I've learned to relax into the slowing down. To embrace the harshness. Spring is coming.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Rough edges...

What would life be like if there were no rough edges? If everything was smooth?

How are the rough spots in life teachers? How do these edges make life more interesting?

For an oyster, having a rough grain of sand irritating it's soft insides produces a pearl. If there was no irritation there would be no pearl.

In spiritual texts and common language I've heard 'pearls' used as an analogy for wisdom.

So do these irritating, rough edged parts of life put into motion our learning and becoming wise? And if I look at the rough times, the times of irritation with awareness that there is potential for a pearl, does it move the process along faster? When I stop resisting so much and allow, the pearls come from everywhere.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Washed clean...

There are times, in my life, when emotional storms drench me. The emotions are so strong. They wash over me, envelop me. It seems like a sea of feeling. I don't know where it ends. And yet, my inner knows reminds me that I've been through this before. There is and end. Nothing lasts forever in the same way.

With that knowing it's easier to ride the waves, to find peace in the storm. To allow my emotions. To notice my feelings and let them simply be feelings. As natural as the rain and thunder. As powerful and beautiful as the ocean.

Then, to work with my emotions. Find the points of resistance. Ask myself questions to facilitate learning and discovery. Sharing keeps me open and transparent. Creating space for the people around me to share what they're going through.

The storm recedes. The sun peeks through. My world is washed clean. A cleansing has taken place. It is my job to let it. To allow and experience. And like the world after a heavy rain, everything is sparkly. Everything is fresh, revitalized and clean.

copyright Yvonne Falk 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

What is real...

How do we know the trees reflected in the water aren't the real trees?

At times, in my life, I mistake the reflection of something for the real thing. In a romantic relationship, for example. I have at times mistaken the reflection of my commitment as actually existing in my partner. And when I relate to it as real, I'm confused. When my energy is down and my projection is weak, I am disappointed that the commitment seems to disappear in my partner.

I get that I am the source of my life. My life happens through me, my perceptions, my interpretations. I get that what reflected back is what I project. And at the same time, choosing how to relate to my projections seems important. If I take them as solid and real I am living in illusion.

If I try to put weight on the reflected limbs of trees in water, I'm going to crash through the illusion and be very wet. Using what is reflecting back to me as a tool to be aware of what I'm projecting supports me in adjusting my projections. To have my projections reflect my commitments and be clear that they are only reflections.

Wikipedia:

Narcissus or Narkissos (Greek: Νάρκισσος), possibly derived from ναρκη (narke) meaning "sleep, numbness," in Greek mythology was a hero from the territory of Thespiae in Boeotia who was renowned for his beauty. In the various stories he is exceptionally cruel, in that he disdains those who love him. As divine punishment he falls in love with a reflection in a pool, not realizing it was his own, and perishes there, not being able to leave the beauty of his own reflection.

copyright Yvonne Falk ALL RIGHTS RESERVED